Dill Vinagrette dressing

I used to make this dressing for shopska, because my dad wanted a dressing for his salad. I was eventually able to convince him to eat shopska with just lemon juice and salt, like the Bulgarians do. This dressing is excellent but it’s also high calorie. And if you eat too much, it will run through you like shit through a goose. So be careful – this stuff is tasty but dangerous.

Dill vinagrette dressing

A balsamic vinagrette with dill
Prep Time 10 minutes
Course Salad
Cuisine American


  • 1 16 oz dressing shaker


  • 1 tsp dried dill
  • 1/8 tsp monosodium glutamate
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 2 tsp mustard
  • 1/2 tsp mustard seed
  • 1 tsp anchovy paste
  • 1 tbsp powdered parmesan
  • cracked black pepper
  • 4 oz balsamic vinegar
  • 4 oz lemon juice
  • 6 oz olive oil


  • Add all the spices to the dressing shaker
  • Add the liquids to the dressing shaker
  • Shake the dressing until it's all fully mixed
  • If the oil & acids (vinegar & lemon juice) separate, add more mustard and shake again
  • Always shake well before using the dressing to ensure the ingredients are mixed


It’s a dressing. Do you need me to explain how to use a dressing? 
You can add sour cream, salad cream, mayo, or buttermilk if you want a creamy dressing. 
You can add things like ginger or horseradish if you want a tangy dressing. Swap some or all of the balsamic for soy sauce and add sesame seed if you want an Asian-inspired dressing. 
I don’t actually measure things when I’m making this so the proportions may be kind of off. 
I don’t care if you “don’t like anchovies”. Use them anyway. USE THE DAMNED ANCHOVIES. Stop being a wuss and use the damned anchovies. Don’t buy tins, get the paste that comes in a tube. 
If you want it vegan, leave out the anchovies and parmesan, but you lose a lot of flavor that way. If you do that, add more salt & MSG to make up for what you’re losing by leaving out the animal products. 
Store in the fridge. It should take 2-3 days in the fridge to solidify. If it separates, you didn’t use enough mustard. Just put it in the microwave for 10-15 seconds and shake, and that’ll re-liquidify it. It’ll last for an indeterminate amount of time in the fridge, but you’ll probably use it before it has a chance to go bad. 
Be careful because this stuff is delicious but the olive oil will make you shit your damn brains out if you eat too much. I’ve taken a shot of this dressing before if I needed to… get things moving. 
So when you dress your salad, if you use too much, you’ll have dressing left in the bowl. If you’re constipated, drink the dressing left in the bowl. If you’re not constipated, consider just throwing it away, even though you will be really, really tempted to drink it straight, because of how delicious it is.